What if I was never good?
Not feeling or looking how you once did? I’ve been wondering about our memory playing tricks on us.
One advantage of constantly filming myself is I get a lot of feedback on how I move. After you’re no longer under constant instruction, this may become an issue. Even if you teach you may have the problem that your students are not able or are too shy to coach you. (BTW after a certain amount of time that’s your fault.)
There are certain aspects of my movement—extension of kicks, recovery from punches (let’s not even touch the ‘grappling’ or kali), that while slower or less springy, also lack a certain efficiency that has become noticeable.
However I don’t have a lot of old footage to compare to, so I’ve been trying to decide if it’s just those micro adjustment stabilizers that are going or maybe I was really never good at it, and my body/ego can no longer compensate? More charitably and quite possibly, maybe I just notice more details as I mature. Still, I remember being better—is my body tricking my mind, or my mind tricking my body?
Regardless of whatever some assessment of my level is, it’s probably fair to say for a sport-oriented practitioner, I’m more concerned with being technically proficient than average. So I’m interested in how to realistically look at this. It’s an important part of not being discouraged, which is key to continuing your training.
You see some older masters who still look great—genetics/luck, training smart, or just always and still better?
Please comment or write in your story or advice.